How do I fix my sloppy son?

Dear Dr. Sharon, I’m so frustrated. My three-year-old doesn’t clean up after himself, no matter how much I plead with him to do so. How do I teach him to clean up his stuff?

Many parents face the challenge of teaching their toddlers how to clean up after themselves. Toddlers love to explore and play with everything around them. This is great, because it shows great imagination and creativity. However, that creativity and exploration can lead to a huge mess around the house.

It is important to teach children, from when they are young toddlers, to clean up after themselves. It is very important to teach by example. As parents, you are your children’s number one role model. Show them, by word and example, that you clean up after yourselves and that they should do the same.

Rather than make it a chore, make it a simple part of family life that everyone does. Explain that before they can play with another toy or go outside, they must first clean up what they had previously played with. At first, it may feel like you are constantly reminding them to clean up after themselves; however, after a while, it will become second nature to them. Of course, don’t be surprised if you need to remind them from time to time- that’s only natural.

A fun and logical way to get your toddlers to clean up after themselves is to ensure they know where everything goes. Set up a bin or shelf system for their different toys. One bin or shelf can be for books, one for toys and another for stuffed animals. Have your toddler get involved in this organization system. Toddlers are eager to help their parents. You can buy some boxes to use as storage and have your children help decorate them. Get them involved and involve them as part of the process.

All children go through phases. The toddler phase can be great fun, but it can also be quite exhausting for you, as a parent.

Hang in there! By exposing your children to a caring, loving, and safe environment, and by teaching them lessons they can use throughout their life, such as cleaning up after themselves, you are giving them the best gift of all.

Sharon Fried Buchalter, Ph.D., is a distinguished clinical psychologist, family/marriage therapist, relationship expert and author