Dear Victoria

By Victoria Howard

Dear Victoria,

My boyfriend of six months just informed me that he has a 2-year-old daughter,whom he has been financially supporting. He said that he married Maria,(the mother of his child), whom he hardly knew, for immigration purposes. He is now in the process of getting a divorce.

I feel lied to and betrayed by a man I thought I knew. I have never cared about anyone in my life, like I do him. He said he didn't tell me for several reasons, some reasonable and some out of fear that I would leave him.

My friends all say he is a liar and cannot believe I would tolerate this behavior. I say that I love him and everyone makes mistakes. I feel as if I really know him, and that he's a wonderful man.

Are they right and I should break up with him knowing he has lied to me? Should I forgive and forget and can I ever trust him again?

Only 26


Dear Only 26:

Honey, first of all, you cannot know a person in only 6 months of dating. It takes time to really get to know someone. But when someone starts out in a relationship by lying and deceiving you: red light!

Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but when their mistakes are the denial of a precious baby he has brought into the world, it certainly makes them undeserving of trust. Think with your head and not with your heart. Your friends are right. He may be an OK guy in some respects, but my advice is to Kick Him To The Curb! You are too young to hang around to be caught up in the next complicated situation he may throw into the relationship.

Victoria

You can e-mail Victoria at dearvictoria39@yahoo.com