Dear Victoria

By Victoria Howard

Dear Victoria,

I have been dating a woman for the past nine months. She is beautiful, intelligent, caring, and a ‘10’.  My problem? She is a dud in the bedroom.

What I mean is that she is as cold as they come. I can’t believe  that someone as sexy and gorgeous as she is, can be so bad in the sex department.

When I initiate sex, she freezes and acts as if it is a duty. When I ask her why she is this way, she tells me ‘it is personal, and has nothing to do with me’.

What should I do? “Kick her to the curb”; or hope she’ll eventually thaw out?

A frustrated boyfriend

Dear frustrated boyfriend,

It sounds as though your girlfriend has a problem that needs addressed by a professional who is experienced in that field.

This ‘problem’ could be the result of a bad, past relationship; or even as deep as sexual abuse of some kind.

If she is a wonderful, intelligent and beautiful woman, why would you ‘kick her to the curb’?

See if you can get her to see a therapist and get to the root of the problem. Yes, sex is important in a relationship; but it sounds like she has all the other ingredients for a loving relationship.

Good luck,

Victoria