Dear Victoria

By Victoria Howard

Dear Victoria,

My name is Stella and I’m a 38-year-old widow.  Two years ago, my husband of ten years, died from a heart attack.  We had been together since high school and he was the only man I had ever slept with. Luckily we had no children.

I am a schoolteacher who is petrified to ever get close to a man again. My friends tell me I should start dating; that Stan (my husband) would have wanted me to.

I am very insecure about my looks and having another man look at my body. I am a little overweight (although Stan loved me the way I was). I really think I need to go to some kind of support classes for women, but I don’t lnow where to start. Could you help me?

A young widow

Dear young widow,

I definitely think you should seek out a support group for women who have also lost husbands. You can find such organizations at local churches; go on the Internet and see where support groups meet in your area, and also join a ladies gym. (This will also help you shed some extra pounds).

As far as dating goes, you will know when you are ready. Each individual varies. I am sorry for your loss, but I agree with your friends—I’m sure your husband would want you to go on. You are much too young to be alone. I understand your feelings on having a sexual relationship with another man, but eventually you will find the strength.

Be strong! Remember—you are only as strong as the coffee you drink, the hairspray you use, and the friends you have.

Good luck,